My Dear Running Shoes,

First off, thank you all for being here. I’m glad you could make it from the shoe rack in the closet. The secret shoe rack.

I called you here to welcome a new member to our group.

His full name is MR00RB, but he prefers Minimus Zero. Less of a mouthful, you see.

I know he’s a little different. Well, a lot different. More slipper than shoe, actually. But don’t be mean to him.

And don’t be afraid, either. His presence here doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m looking to replace you all.

Unless he works well… in which case, you’re all out of here.